FUCK THIS MOVIE. I HATE THIS MOVIE. There is so much whack shit in this film:
the five sisters are KEIRA KNIGHTLEY, amy dunne, johanna mason, carey mulligan of ‘drive’, doctor who episode ‘blink’ and being the future mom of a mumford’s son fame, and the main girl from st trinians???? WHAT KIND OF WHITE PEOPLE PERFECTION their dad is president snow and their mum was vera in noted television procedural vera???? OKAY
DARCY IS 6’2
MR BINGLEY WAS OCTAVIUS IN ROME AND ALSO HAS THE CHEEKBONES OF A TOLKIEN ELF
JUDI DENCH
this movie is just Joe Wright Period Period Piece but it is THE EPITOME OF THIS VERY SPECIFIC GENRE. HE’S NOT GONNA TOP THIS AND HE NEEDS TO STOP TRYING the panning shot of the peak district??? ‘Liz On Top Of The World’ plays in the bg it’s the ULTIMATE.
HOT LIZARD KING WICKHAM
and okay i love how this movie shows the bennets as an actual FAMILY
like they’re messy and tactile and they talk over one another it’s so genuine
AND I LOVE THEIR HOUSE WITH THE CREEPING VINES
and okay the COSTUMES IN THIS MOVIE OH MY GODDD
everyone’s white gowns in the netherfield ball scene? YOOOOOO
honestly the production value of this movie is nuts
it’s the AESTHETIC
alright so jane austen novels are awesome and they show a lot about society and relationships in the regency era
and the thing about 2005 pride and prejudice is that it doesn’t only show the verbal sparring/tension between lizzie and darcy
but the sexual tension as well
THE SEXUAL UNDERTONES OF THIS MOVIE
OH MY GOD
IT’S SO FUCKING MUCH
like every interaction is loaded with like sexy LOOKS and body language
and like they don’t even kiss but it’s so obvious they wanna bang
THEY WANT TO BANG
SO
BAD
it’s like raw magnetism
it’s something people would write ridiculous articles in cosmo about
like that bit where darcy helps lizzie into the carriage???????
HE HELPS HER UP
(IT’S THE 1800S, PEOPLE DONT TOUCH)
she looks at him, scandalised
HE WALKS AWAY, FLEXING HIS HAND AS IF IT’S BURNING
ROMANCE
there’s this scene where lizzie and darcy are dancing in a crowded room but they’re so focused on each other the other people LITERALLY MELT AWAY
LIKE THEY’RE THE ONLY TWO PEOPLE IN THE GOD DAMN UNIVERSE
(sidebar: HER HAIR IN THIS SCENE. GOD DAMN.)
also THE TRACKING SHOT THROUGH THE PARTY OH MY GOD
and okay, like
let’s not even GET INTO the declaration scene
after a heavy dose of SEXILY AVOIDING EACH OTHER’S GLANCES IN CHURCH the sexual tension crescendos
UNDER THE AWNING OF SOME ANCIENT RUIN
IN THE POURING RAIN
he advances; he admits his love
she REBUKES him
affronted, he insults pretty much everything about her
she responds but rebuking him again but WORSE
but the sexual tension’s still there
there’s just the noise of the rain
the air between them is so charged it could power like
a small city probably
THEY’RE SUPER CLOSE
NO TOUCHEY
AND THEN
HE LEANS FORWARD, EYES LOCKED ON HER LIPS
HE’S GONNA KISS HER
SHE WANTS HIM TO KISS HER
HE DOESN’T KISS HER
THE
FUCKING
TENSION
I CAN’T EVEN WATCH THIS BIT HONESTLY
and she regrets it immediately after and then he DROPS OFF THE LETTER AND SHE’S JUST SITTING THERE IN SHOCK REALLY
I KNOW BABE. I KNOW
and it’s the kind of movie you can rewatch a hundred times and it’s still as amazing as the first time and you pick up all these little things you missed
it was like my 20th watch when i realised that mary is in love with mr collins
and ok THE LIVING SCULPTURES OF PEMBERLEY SCENE
all the pemberly scenes really like when they show up and lizzie sees this bomb ass house that could’ve been hers and she’s just like, ‘hahahhahahahaha i fucked up, i fucked up. i fucked up so bad im sorry, im trash’
AND WHEN SHE MEETS GEORGIANA AND SHE LOOKS AT LIZZIE AND DARCY LIKE SMIRK.EMOJI
she knows
and the scene where DARCY AND BINGLEY PRACTICE WHAT HE’S GOING TO SAY TO JANE
REGENCY SOFT BRO AF
and the scene before when the bennets rush to make themselves look presentable and it’s sooooo awkward and forced HONESTLY THEY ARE THE BEST
AND JANE AND BINGLEY LOWKEY OTP FINALLY GETTING TOGETHER
AND JANE STANDING THERE IN THE SUNBEAM LOOKING LIKE A LITERAL ANGEL AND TEARS IN HER EYES AS SHE SAYS YES
and then
DARCY
LOOKING LIKE SOME FABIO SHIT
WALING ACROSS THE MOORS
TO HER
WHAT THE HELLLLLL
THE MUSIC SWELLS
HE’S RUGGED
‘YOU MUST KNOW… SURELY YOU MUST KNOW IT WAS ALL FOR YOU’
s t o p
and lizzie is standing there with her artfully messy hair
‘YOU HAVE BEWITCHED ME, BODY AND SOUL, AND I LOVE YOU
I LOVE YOU
I LOVE YOU’
good BYE
and she kisses his hands? NOOOOOOO
THEY GONNA BANG SO MUCH
i keep this movie on every device i have in case i need an emergency pick me up
once i watched this with dinner at night and when it finished the dvd was on a loop and it started playing again…. and i watched it again… twice
this vine is one year old but everything about this is art. the camera rotates a full 180 degrees around a point. the child in the background misses an easy basketball shot then gets hit in the face in the face with a basketball. the fact that this kids name is semi. the fucking beat is three notes and semi kills that shit with one of the hottest bars dropped in this decade. ‘money add then multiply’ means that semi knows his fuckin shit but he doesnt know how to say mathematics. put this fucking vine on a cd so it can be looped by aliens 3000 years in the future
you missed the kid’s genius - he can spell mathematics, he goes an extra step, it’s (M)oney (A)dd (Th)en (M)ultiply, I call that MATHM-Mathematics
this post never dies and you know what? i hope it never does. long live Semi the King.
this was the best time ever bc my host had just changed the tire and I was like “oh hell yeah an old tractor tire! you know what that means!” and everyone was like “no….” the French boys and the Norwegians were like “we dont actually” and I was like my god….I’m the only hillbilly here….it’s Up To Me
and I like to think of that as the only significant cultural impact I made.
everyone’s so worried about my tree trajectory but that’s the best part about rolling downhill in tractor tires: so much of the shock is absorbed by the tire so you can pretty much do anything. in theory. i’m not a doctor I actually don’t know you could probably still die. one of the guys I roped into this went over a huge boulder and went airborn for a hot second though so that was fun
